I don't see how I get myself into these...weird situations but I'm starting to think that it just may be me!!! Long story short...I met this girl who goes to my school and is like one of the gayest chicks around. We have a class together and she lives across the hall from my best friend. Now,there is absolutely nothing about her that would even suggest that she's into girls but after talking to her you quickly discover that she does. So we exchanged numbers and have talked on the phone a few times. She's really busy so when we talk it's never for a long period of time. Usually im the one who always calls her but I haven't the past couple of days because to me it seems like...hmmm....I read her wrong??? All of our face to face encounters have been a little awkward (more so on my part then hers probably) but she always stood extremely close to me and touched me. Now the touching I think is fairly innocent except for the fact that she always seems to graze my boob. Its happened every time...never fails! But my friends read into that much more then I do. Anyway...we are definitely attracted to each other but I get the feeling that I like her more than she may like me. We've made dates but haven't gone on any because something always happens on her end. The other day I kind of went into my "fuck it/her" mood but then I figured that I may be being to harsh. My best friend said that she is probably one of those girls who likes to be chased. I don't think I'm a chaser though. I figure that if i have to chase you then something is wrong. Anyway...were going home for spring break this weekend and we'll be home for a week. I was thinking about seeing if she wanted to do something but I feel like it'll probably be a lost cause...so basically...should I bite the bullet and try one more time??? or just forget about her???

Ok...so i was on the train today for the first time in a while and something...strange happened. Just to give you guys the exact situation- I was standing up, but leaning against a poll and this chick who i assume was originally beside be stiffed me. Like she literally put her nose on my shoulder and sniffed me.

Me: Dude...you just sniffed me! (i was sorta shocked, but at least i was smiling)
Girl: OMG i didn't think you would notice.
Me: you just put your nose on me and you didn't think i would notice?
Girl: well...no not really. I don't even remember touching you. We been on the same train since King St. ( about 15 stops from where we were and on a completely different line) and i sat behind and i smelled something that was just to die for but i didn't think it was you.
Me: (still in shock and kind of getting freaked out. I just looked at her)
Girl: What are you wearing?
Me: I don't remember, it was Christmas gift last year.
Girl: well I'm going to give you my number and i would love it if you called me when you got home to the name of it.

And then she preceded to pull out paper and pencil and wrote down her name and number...as well as her home address, her job number and her email. Do i plan on calling you ask? NO...i was so freaked out! I mean...don't people normally just ask what you wearing instead of just sniffing you?

So me and some friends were eating lunch and talking about a bunch of random stuff at the same time. Now, the majority of my friends are straight, man loving Christians, and one is a straight man loving Hindu-Buddhist....but at any rate their all straight. I've known all of them for about 4 years but have yet to tell them that i am gay. If you asked them about it they would probably even say that i was the straightest girl they ever met, but that is another story. Anyway...at lunch, the only non-virgin out of the bunch brought up her recent sexual adventure. Now i am totally uninhibited about what i say because that's just me. I'll make the most sexual/disgusting/blush worthy comment/jokes that most people would ever hear...but this girl totally takes the cake in that department. She was so graphic with her details that it made ME blush[ a very hard task to do] and it was so weird. To make it worse she started asking me direct questions about "things" and i found this odd considering as far as she knows im a virgin, yet she asked me something that only people who have had sex with a guy would know. It made me sort of suspicious but after her little interrogation i left it alone. I hate for people to try to play me for a fool so i was pissed because i think that she may have heard something -about me being gay-and this was a way for her to hear it from me. But since i already thought that the situation was weird i didn't even entertain the conversation like i normally would have. If this happens again though...i might have to act "ghetto" and call her out on it. I think that if you want to know something, then just ask. Simple as that! Don't bullshit around it, just freaken ask.

I know we have this thing
This special thing between us

The thing that makes you so untouchable
The thing that makes you all the more loveable

The thing that keeps me up late at night
The thing that enlightens my sight

The thing that makes my heart ache
The thing that if lost will create endless hate

That thing is us, that thing is real
That thing is lust, the thing without a seal

That seal is love , and love is all it takes

I kept it from you in fear,

afraid of what you might say,

and what I would hear.

But my fear had gotten worse,

And only seems to cause us to hurt.

To keep you in the dark, from what I feel in my heart,

 will only hurt you more,

You, the one I adore.

But now I’m done hiding from you,

and ready to start fresh and anew.

I thought the hardest part would be saying I love you,

But it’s harder to say how much I really do.

I think of you day and night.

Knowing how much you have changed my life.

Thinking of the day we meet,

Hoping I am everything that you seek

But I still worry about that day

About what you will really think or say.

Hopefully I will find out soon,

The answer being our first night spent under the moon

As you caress my heart, and I stare into those eyes

The eyes that can see beyond my silly shell,

And draw out the truths, my heart has to tell

I will love you forever more,

You, the one I adore.